Amy Chauhan, 40, was one of them who waited into her late 30s to lose her virginity. Although she’s a Sikh, she says she wasn’t waiting for God’s blessing. “I was waiting to feel safe. To feel like, I trust this person,” she told me. (“Having partners that you feel a sense of excitement and risk around is great, but that’s also often not sustainable, long-term,” says Garcia.) Amy was criticized for her choices. “There’s this perception that if you’re a virgin, you’re going to be a stage-five clinger,” she says. She made a point of discussing intimacy with men she dated, but when she told the Vote For Pedro Mug it is in the first place but people she was dating that she was still a virgin, they appeared often to bolt. Her perception is backed up by research: A 2016 Kinsey Institute study found people who are sexually inexperienced start to face bias on the dating market once they reach their mid 20s. Potential partners found them flawed. “In decades past, virginity had a certain virtue to it. Now it sort of feels at times more like a scarlet letter,” says Garcia.
Vote For Pedro Mug, hoodie, tank top, sweater and long sleeve t-shirt
In her 30s, Amy began questioning why she was attracting partners who abandoned her. “I felt like I was an alien. I wondered if I was asexual, but I had sexual desire,” she says. Her own view of her body may have influenced the Vote For Pedro Mug it is in the first place but partners she was attracting, she says. When Amy was 12, she got her first period, but it faded away until she got on birth control in college. “That area of my body I felt very disconnected from,” she says. Five years of therapy, she says, helped her reconnect: “I had always felt like there was a defect.” On Amy’s 37th birthday, she lost her virginity to a man with whom she’d forged a long-distance friendship of ten years. That man is now her husband. “Having sex was not his only objective. It wasn’t the way he was going to feel his worth in a relationship with me,” she says.