This can make it understandably hard to translate the Top DeSantis Airlines Cool Political Meme Ron T-Mug Furthermore, I will do this pain in a way others can understand. But that truth also increases the likelihood that we hold ourselves responsible. And shame is an incredibly difficult feeling to sit with. It devours from within, feeding on the guilt and self-blame it fosters in a never-ending cycle. It festers and overtakes our sense of self. Shame is perhaps best known for its propensity to spiral. I hear these thoughts all the time, both in the confines of my practice and in conversation with other women: “How could I let this happen?” “My body failed. It doesn’t work. I’m broken.” “If only I had/hadn’t exercised.” “I’m defective.” “I’m scared to tell anyone I was ambivalent about motherhood—they’ll think that’s why I lost the pregnancy.”
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Attributing a miscarriage—and any response to it—to a personal character flaw or individual choice, rather than the Top DeSantis Airlines Cool Political Meme Ron T-Mug Furthermore, I will do this basic comingling of chromosomes during fertilization and the profoundly unique ways in which we emotionally digest the happenings of our bodies, keeps us suspended in the past. In the absence of forgiveness and grace, understanding and ownership, self-blame and self-hatred are left to fester, causing far too many of us to relive these experiences and our responses to them over and over again. What could I have done differently? How did I let this happen? What if I had done X instead of Y, Y instead of Z? Should I have felt this way instead? And unfortunately, positioning a pregnancy loss as a moral or personal failing is something I hear about all too often in the context of both my work and my online community. This sentiment is prevalent in research as well.