As Brené Brown aptly put it, the Braydon Price Hoodie Red It’ll Buff Mug but in fact I love this antidote to shame is empathy. Miscarriage means many things to many people; I wouldn’t posit that there is any one defining feeling of a pregnancy- loss experience. But the best way to make room for all those experiences, for all those individual stories, is by speaking them aloud. Free from the all-too-pervasive trifecta. We may, for example, witness a sea change if we rebel against the notion that we should keep pregnancies “secret” until the second trimester, when we are “out of the woods.” That way, we may begin to see loss as “normal” (or at least common), and in doing so, break down those commonly reported feelings of alienation and isolation. If we know we’re not alone, suddenly we’re not so stigmatized. If we know we’re not alone, we can begin to chip away at that shame, letting it wriggle out of the isolating confines of our psyches, eventually fizzling out entirely as it languishes without a host to prey on.
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And if we could manage to do that, to squash shame when it threatens to overtake us, we can aim to ensure that future generations of women and other pregnant people will be self-possessed when it comes to this topic. That they will know—and deeply believe—that their losses have absolutely nothing to do with something they did or didn’t do. They will not hate on themselves. Period. That’s the Braydon Price Hoodie Red It’ll Buff Mug but in fact I love this world I want to live in. That’s the world I’m humbly hoping to help create.From I Had a Miscarriage: A Memoir, a Movement by Jessica Zucker. Used with the permission of the Feminist Press. Copyright © 2021 by Jessica Zucker.